zaterdag, 08 februari 2014 01:00

Linda's story

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As a kid we always used to go to the woods walking. My sisters ran and skipped and I strolled back there. Looked around and enjoyed the large trees with its leaves ... Always with a smile but always with ' sore legs '.

At each step, the blood burned through my veins and I swallowed the pain. My mother ignored me completely. Come on, do not be a pain in the ass. You and your 'sore legs'. My father said nothing. Picked me up and carried me on his neck. We did not have to say anything... and I enjoyed further the forest. On my birthday I always wanted to sleep at 8 o'clock. Not my mother. she wanted me to wait until Grandpa had congratulated me, I said, It's MY birthday. so I do what I want.

The fall was hard when my father died after 1 year of sick- to Pancreatic Cancer. I was 13 years old. The ground left under my feet. My friend, my buddy, my dad, without saying ... my comprehender. The pain was so intense that I went numb without sharing. Love was given a different meaning. You should just be there for each other, no matter how bad it is. You're family first ! ! The family fell apart. We could not understand each other. There was violence and silence... but the pain couldn't reach me no more. I lived with pain every day since I can remember as a little kid. Emotion hit inside. I was menstruating so intense that I fainted frequently. On my 16th I left home.

I had learned to take care of myself. You can not rely on one another, you have to give till you drop. Do what is expected of you. Suppress and do not whine. I could eat whatever I wanted, but didn't gain weight. One year I smoked of all kinds of drugs just to numb but that did not help much so I stopped. Always having sore legs and need lots of sleep. In 1992 there was an engorged tick on my neck. The doctor took it off and after my request for antibiotics to be sure he gave me seven days doxicline. Half a year later, I was startled awake at night. There was an elephant on my heart ! I was dying. The oppressive feeling held a half hour and reduced. The doctor did not come. In the morning I had pain in my heart but it was according to the general stress. I was in my senior year. Everything was imagination. Carry on, be strong. that is expected of you.

Every 6 months I still reported to the doctor who sent me to eight rheumatologists, three neurologists and once a psychologist. Nothing indicating a disease. Not even in my head ;)... The more than 20 Elisa tests were negative or equivocal and were not further investigated even though there were question marks behind the results . Pain, I do not even know if anything can be called pain because I already feel so long. That was evident during the birth of my eldest son. He was stuck and after 1 day and 3 hours of pushing contractions turned my light off, or actually ...turned the light on. I saw myself lying there and knew immediately that it was over. My father had his hand outstretched. I wanted to reach his hand so much, I had to make a choice. Then my sister gave me a slap in my face. She shouted that I was in labour and couldn't leave now. They laced me hard in the ambulance, and 30 minutes later I had a blue son. My heart turned open...

A year later, my second son was born. No problems. What a miracle. What a joy. But my husband could not stand the kids. It made him furious and he demanded all my attention. Attention had to be divided to two babies already. I took off my wedding ring and let him go . 2001 On the bridge of Zaltbommel with a bike full of babies I made the decision. I would fight until I drop. If I could not jump, I had to suppress me and get the most out of life. I owed it to my sons and maybe to myself. Life is been given. A busy job, evening courses, an management training, early mornings, driving license ... I was tired ... I was increasingly flu, ear infections, throat infections, always sweating, fever of 41 C, nausea, migraines, sore muscles and joints, forgetful, stubborn neck, acidification ....

At an annual inspection at the dentist on a radiograph showed that I miss a lot of bone marrow in my jaw. I had to go directly to the doctor because this wasn't good, but my feelings said that it would have no sense. I had no confidence in the entire health system , I was lost. Again. 2011 I collapse before the fridge. I couldn't move my legs. I was living together for two years and hassles and stress was of daily order. I felt caught between my responsibilities and what is expected of me. Laugh and make the best of it. Both sons have a form of autism which parenting is not always by the book. Giving them a lot of experiences and structure. Raise them was not always easy.

My doctor did an ELISA test again and found nothing. My heart arrhythmias were 3 x 24 hours measured and found to be good according to general practitioner. I became increasingly ill, suffering from spastic attacks, anger attacks, suicide attempts, and excruciating pains all over my body. Crawling, talking with a double tongue, no longer able to make big decisions ...I was totally lost control in every way. The neurologist could not find anything in the hospital. I had to give a signed letter from my gereral practitioner to read my status. Such a letter I had seen before. " This woman thinks she has Lyme. " Like it's some kind of code language. I contacted NVLP and heard that I was not alone. We went do it differently. Bioresonatie, until I was just getting sicker and she told me literally:" It seems like you don't want to get better ... ". Now I know it was of the toxines.

From there we went to Pro Healt and later to Dr. Berghoff in Rheinbach. Two LTT tests from Belgium and Berlin both positive. Later at an independent cardiologist revealed that a reference to the cardio test that was done previously by the gereral practitioner was advised futher research because there were indeed irregularities. He would support me if I want to win the GP for the complaints but I have so far no energy for it to do so ...

One year my friend held me up, nursed me, drove me to doctors, fed me ... I am very grateful to him but the love was gone. When I could walk again I went back to my own place. I wanted to calm myself, go through the Lyme battle on my own, no stress, find myself . I have the whole program of Berghoff completed with the support of Dr. Meijer in Overdinkel and all other independent doctors who believe in suffering by Lyme.

Three months ceftrivison and many antibiotics programs. After 16 months I moved on to the Buhner protocol. Now, two and a half years after I collapsed in front of the fridge, I am 'pain free'. I can walk again properly, eating, talking, take care of myself. I 'm still tired and sleeping a lot and focus does not always work. Currently I use only hemp oil, healthy diet and exercise. I am grateful to have come this far ....

Lees 2959 keer Laatst aangepast op maandag, 30 november 2015 20:03

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